Hair raising experience

Cleverly combining the 'lack of compliments' and 'hair-do' themes of recent posts, here is a transcript of a conversation Bert and I have just had.

(Note: I went grey at a young age and usually dye my hair.)

Me: I'm getting my hair done tomorrow. Do you have any views on what I should have done, or are you indifferent?
Bert: Well, how do you want it done?
Me: I'm asking for your opinion.
Bert: I think you should have it done to please yourself.
Me: I'M ASKING FOR YOUR OPINION.
Bert: Well, OK, I don't think you should get it cut short. I think for older women, short hair is ... it's ... it can look a bit hard.
Me: What about the colour?
Bert: Oh! I don't think you should go grey just yet.
Me: OK, so there are some things that I shouldn't do. But is there any way you'd like my hair done?
Bert: I quite like it tied back actually.

(At this point I am momentarily speechless at the fact that Bert appears to have expressed a positive opinion, but sadly he fails to capitalise on the situation.)

Bert: The thing is your hair is very dry, so when it's loose it goes a bit...you know...mad.