Sunday 20 January 2008

Bad Carma

I'm so lucky.

To have Bert, that is.

He has such concern for my health and wellbeing he is making it impossible for me to take the easy option. You know how we all moan about how much thinner / fitter / better off we were before we were foolish enough to acquire a car? And, notwithstanding this, how impossible it is not to jump in the car every time you need to pop out for the least thing?

Here's my car. It has been without rear wheels over 4 months.

If you don't believe me, just look at that rust.

And there are some interesting new life forms. (Actually, to be honest the moss was there before. Bert doesn't believe in paying for car washes, and apparently they ruin the paintwork which means that the car won't necessarily look its best).

"Ah yes," you say, "But you still have Bert's car to get around in." Well, that was certainly true. With Bert's broken elbow I've been able to use his car so long as I drive him wherever he needs to go. Oh what fun. Bert is such a backseat driver. For example, when the traffic lights change to 'go', he cries "You're going! You're going! You're going!". Apparently I accelerate too quickly when driving off (even when Bert's not shouting instructions), and on the other hand I rev too low when driving along. Generally I pride myself on my parking (once I parked in a spot so tight that I literally couldn't get out of any door of the car and had to drive off again). But with Bert it's "Left hand down, turn, turn! Now right hand down, turn, turn!" His constant instructions are all delivered in the same frantic way. You can imagine what that does for the quality of my driving and parking, and how smug Bert feels once he's proved his point by reducing me to a nervous wreck.

But I digress.

Luckily Bert, though not fully recovered, is able to drive again. Just so long as it isn't raining. See the wipers on Bert's car? They've been stuck in that position for, ooh, over a week now. (Non-Brits: the weather here in the UK has been awful. Rain, wind, hail.)

Don't worry. Bert's told his mechanic about it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lazybrain you MUST publish !!!!!!!!!!