Shit Stirring

Bless me, what a sheltered life I've led. Of course there are enema fetishists and poo porn fans out there. I've been checking where people are coming to my site from, and there are more than you might have thought. Or is everyone at it and I just never realised?

Now, if I were to include phrases like 'shit smearing', 'enema angels', 'Rubber Latex Inflatable Enema With Thick Sheath Fetish' on my blog, I would probably get loads more hits. But how disappointing it must be for them when they end up here! No pictures or anything. And Bert might be perverse but he isn't perverted.

But that reminds me - when we first met and I told him he was perverse (because he was and still is), he really wouldn't believe that I wasn't calling him perverted. But then, he is much more comfortable with numbers than with words. Around that time, he also insisted that 'invariably' meant 'most of the time' and it doesn't it means without variance, that's every goddamn time!

(I hope I'm right.)

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Recently we've been arguing about getting things done. Bert likes to posture that he is 'a doer', i.e. that he 'gets things done', whilst I'm a lazy good-for-nothing. He doesn't quite put it like that (what he actually said was "you come across as rather ineffective"). It is true that he appears (ok, is) more physically active than me but I do way more thinking and emoting than him.

Anyway, I like to annoy him by saying that he might be a 'doer' but he's not a 'Completer Finisher'. "What do you mean?" he asks, looking worried - clearly he doesn't like the sound of this. "I mean that you're a 'Starter Stopper'*. You start loads of different jobs but you always move on to the next thing before you finish the one you're doing."

(*'Starter Stopper' isn't one of Belbin's characters but it's one of a few I'd add, along with 'Argumentative Sod', 'Invariably Perverse' and 'Starts Jobs Involving Lots of Tools and Mess Just After the House Has Been Tidied'.)

Very soon I will add some pictures to illustrate Bert's Start-Stop tendencies.

You may need to remind me.

I might be too busy doing nothing in particular to remember.