Wednesday 9 April 2008

Capital Letters

Bert received a cheque for £500 this morning following a dispute with our electricity company. He calls it a result - I call it a damn nuisance. Every time he 'wins' it encourages him to write even more letters of protest. Some of you may remember Bert's recent interaction with the Post Office. Feeling good after this morning's success, he decided it was time to write to the PO.

I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to (which I don't).

Dear sir/madam

It seems to me from your ‘standard’ letter that you are deliberately attempting to put people off from claiming against the Post Office for their inability to deliver letters. Do you honestly believe that anyone would go to this much trouble if the claim were not genuine? I enclose the original recorded deliver slips as requested but I charge you for the copies (5p each) plus £2.50 for my time in going to a shop to obtain these copies. I also charge you 10p for the envelope, as you did not supply one for me to return the information in. These charges are in addition to my original claim. Take it as threat if you may, but if I do not receive satisfaction over this matter then I will take the Post Office to the small claims court over what is a trivial amount of monetary loss, but a loss all the same, and will add to this my additional time and consequential costs already incurred.

May I also point out to you that your success rate in delivering recorded delivery letters, in my experience, is less than 50% and I shall be reporting you to Trading Standards as I believe that the service is fundamentally flawed and therefore improperly marketed.

Of course the question begs; will this letter actually find its way to you?

Will it be lost or will it be late?

Please be assured that its posting will be witnessed but it will not be sent by Recorded Delivery.

Yours sincerely,


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